To run or not to run....

Running…...a word I use to loathe with every fiber of my being. Growing up I declared myself ‘athletically challenged’, to put it delicately. This frustrated me to no end. I had a very competitive drive and no way to channel it, with the exception of beating my sister at a game of Clue. Going into high school, track was the only 'sport' I seemed qualified to perform. My 'qualifications' were having two feet that could move, lol. But I never tried out because of a bad experience in the 6th grade. I had just started at a new school and the gym teacher decided to take us to the cemetery to run a mile. I was optimistic until I came in second to last…...just ahead of the chubbiest kid in our class. I chalked it up to not being good enough rather than just being out of shape. For me, if I couldn’t win, I didn’t see the point. Needless to say, my desire to run died right there in the cemetery.

So why am I starting this blog? Recently, my family experienced the heartbreaking death of my beloved sister, Nicole. Today, she is buried in that very cemetery. Growing up, every time I would drive past this cemetery, I cringed with memories of defeat and humiliation. To me, it was only a place of death. After my sister was buried, that cemetery took on a whole new light. It was no longer a place of death, but of memories…...for us and many other families who had buried a loved one. It is a place where I bring my children to help them remember their favorite Auntie and talk about all the special times we shared. It is a gentle reminder that our lives are fleeting and every breath counts. It is a place of peace, knowing with full assurance that my sister’s body may lay in the ground, but her soul is with her Savior, Jesus Christ (John 3:16). Nicole ran the race of her Christian faith, and she ran it to the best of her ability. She finished well, she has won her prize at the golden gates of eternity, and a crown of righteousness has been placed upon her head (2 Timothy 5:8). Christ promises us all these things in His Word. And since the passing of my sister, I have realized how desperately I want to finish well.

Since my sister’s passing, I have a new outlook on life and just how precious it is. Nicole lived her life with a great amount of passion. She always knew what she wanted, and she went for it! Even though her life was short, it was very full indeed. In honor of my sister, I will try to live out the rest of my days with that same passion. I want to: live out my faith instead of just talking about it, to support, encourage, and love my husband how Christ loves me, to be engaged in my children’s lives, be present in every single moment, and raise them to be men and women who seek after God. I want to chase my dreams and not worry about failing. Life is a race, but God never intended for it to be a rat race. We must set a goal, train for endurance, pace ourselves, and fuel our mind, body, and spirit with healthy choices. I love this verse from 1 Corinthians 9:24-25.

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.”

God desires for us to live in such a way that every area brings honor to Him. He knows we are not perfect by any means, but when we fall down we need to get right back up and keep running. We need to exercise self-control, which for me is very challenging. That’s what I want to do here. I want to be very open about areas I struggle in, as a means of accountability, and to hopefully encourage others in their walk with Christ. I think this verse from Hebrews 12:1-2a says it best:

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus…."

I have been thinking a lot lately about how short life is, and how I should strive harder to pursue my dreams. Nicole was always so sweet to encourage me in the things I wanted to do. She was my biggest fan. Earlier this spring I started running with my children. Ironically, I have been surprised by how much I enjoy it. I can just hear Nicole cheering me on, and that is honestly what keeps me going. Nicole always loved walking with me, and I really miss spending time with her. But we have many good memories together. I laugh as I look at this picture of us attempting to 'work out'. As she got older she loved 'Sweating to the Oldies' with Richard Simmons, lol. Good times. Nicole has inspired me to train for a 5K! My good friend Meredith is going to help me start the Couch to 5K program. We’re getting up early tomorrow morning to start, and I’m so excited! I want more energy with my kids. I want to start something and finish it well. I want to run with my husband and be able to keep up! I was even thinking of putting together a 5K event for special needs, in honor of my sister. Who knows;)

(If anyone knows how I could go about that, please let me know;)